You are your child's first and most
influential form of guidance:
Decode NOW who you want your children
to be when they grow up

As parents, we play a critical role in the healthy development of our children. The real mission for parents is to raise their children toward responsible adulthood. All the dynamics of family life lead to this: what kind of men and women your children will grow to be.

No challenge is more important than this, and so it is essential that we try our best to be the leaders our families need us to be. But what makes a parent a great leader? The most important trait of a great family leader is that they keep an eye on a distant vision.

You need to have a goal in mind before you can ever achieve it. Knowing what kind of adult you want your children to become will greatly increase their chances of becoming that kind of adult. Successful parents base their confidence in knowing they have this sacred mission to carry out with their children. They see themselves raising adults, not children.

Effective parent leaders look at their children and picture them 20 years from now, as grown men and women with job and family responsibilities of their own. They seem to understand a truth of life: Children will tend to grow up to our expectations or down to them. So, these parent leaders set high ideals for their children's later lives. They think of their children's future along these lines... 

• The children will have excellent judgment, especially in the choice of a spouse and the upbringing of their own children.
• They will center their lives in a stable, permanent, happy marriage--raising a great family like the one they grew up in.
• They will succeed in their careers, whatever these may be--doing work they enjoy, putting their powers up against problems for the welfare of others.
• They'll be able to support their families comfortably but not luxuriously, for a life of excess, they know, may destroy their children (the parents' grandchildren).
• They will be generous to friends and those in need.
• They will never live as quitters, slackers, whiners, or cowards--nor will they let their own children live this way.
• They will be nobody's fool or pushover. They will not be swayed by charlatans. They will know malarkey when they see it.
• When they've done wrong, they'll face the truth and apologize. They will not let their pride stand in the way of truth and justice, especially in family life.
• They will be esteemed by all who know them for their honesty, integrity, hard work, generosity, religious commitment, and good humor.
• They will remain close to their brothers and sisters for life, giving and receiving encouragement and support.
• They will live by their parents' principles. They'll have a conscience for life--the voice of their parents' lessons of right and wrong--and they'll pass these lessons on to their own children.
• Their whole lives will be moved by love--the willingness to endure and overcome anything for the welfare and happiness of others, starting with their family.

Take some time this week to consider what qualities you want your children to have as adults. Discuss these qualities with everyone involved in raising your children to assure that you are all working toward the same goal. Then, check back twice a year or so to track your progress. With an eye on the future of your childrens' lives, you'll develop caring and responsible adults who will never cease to amaze you.

Adapted from the Website of James B. Stenson, educational consultant: ParentLeadership.com.